Why I Hate Fuwa

Fuwa. The very name conjures shudders in my very soul. Amusing at first, maybe even cute, they're the symbol of the 2008 Olympic Games and I guess sort of now China in general. They're sort of awkward panda-esque creatures that come in the colors of the Olympic rings and have all the creepy wholesomeness of the most saccharine Teletubby. By themselves, however, they're not so bad. I even promised a couple people to bring them home a Fuwa stuffed animal. The problem comes when they're freaking everywhere. Around every corner, under every rock, haunting my dreams. Plastered on every surface, physical or electronic, is the same group of five unnervingly ke'ai (cute) rainbow munchkins with the oh-so-endearing double syllable names of Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying, and Nini (and of course their illegitimate zebra-creature siblings in the Hong Kong SAR, Xiangxiang and Gangang). They don't stop at two dimensions, though. Oh no. Store windows everywhere, from the vaguely topical (little girls' jewelry shops, teahouses) to the completely nonsensical (bathroom fixtures outlets?) are full of hanging Fuwa dolls. The subway passes a series of Fuwa pictures timed specifically so that they become animated when the train passes. The Olympic rowing competition Christine, Shao Bo, Chengwei and I attended had these poor volunteers trapped in inflatable Fuwa outfits with air compressors strapped to their backs (I insisted we take a picture with one in spite of the existential distress it caused me). The computer I am using right now has a Nini background which pains me to look at. Even all this I could probably handle, if it were not for one thing: in spite of this glut of Fuwa that seems to be crying out for a mass euthanasia project, there is not a single Fuwa doll to be found for sale in this city. Shao Bo promises that we'll find them outside Tian'anmen at some point tomorrow, and I guess I remain hopeful, though with the realization that if I never see one of those horrible creatures again, my happiness and sanity will remain that increment more intact.

Kidding (mostly),
Jorgen